Surviving Together: How One Couple Rebuilt After Sexual Assault

A Life-Changing Moment in Rural France

On July 4, 1990, Thomas Trezise stood at a crossroads of dirt roads in the French countryside, watching the horizon with mounting anxiety. His wife, Susan Brison, had left for a morning walk two hours earlier, and her prolonged absence gnawed at him with an inexplicable dread. This ordinary summer day would transform into the beginning of an extraordinary journey through sexual assault recovery and relationship resilience.

The couple had arrived at a remote farmhouse belonging to Trezise's French colleague, eager to spend what promised to be a productive summer. Both were assistant professors in prestigious American institutions – Trezise taught French at Princeton while Brison held a philosophy position at Dartmouth. Their future seemed boundless with possibility. "I'd found someone with whom I really wanted to spend my life and I just felt very, very lucky," Trezise recalls of those hopeful moments before tragedy struck. They were attempting to start a family, and their time in France represented a dream realized, a chapter filled with romance and professional achievement.

The Attack and Its Immediate Aftermath

What Trezise feared that afternoon became horrifying reality. Susan Brison was brutally attacked and left for dead during what should have been an innocent walk. The sexual assault shattered the idyllic summer they had envisioned and set the couple on an unexpected and challenging path. Yet, remarkably, their relationship not only survived but eventually flourished despite the trauma that would have fractured many partnerships.

The statistics surrounding relationships after sexual assault are sobering. Many couples separate, unable to navigate the profound psychological and emotional aftermath. Partners struggle with guilt, resentment, and the fundamental changes that trauma introduces into intimate relationships. Yet Trezise and Brison chose a different course, one that required extraordinary commitment, vulnerability, and mutual support.

Understanding the Dynamics of Support After Trauma

Thomas Trezise's response to his wife's sexual assault attack was neither perfect nor instinctive. Instead, it was a learning process filled with missteps, gradual understanding, and deepening empathy. Rather than allowing shame or helplessness to silence him, Trezise eventually became an author documenting their shared experience. This unconventional choice – to write publicly about his wife's ordeal – emerged from Susan's own desire to reclaim narrative control and transform their private suffering into something meaningful.

For Brison, having her husband write about her sexual assault experience represented a form of collaborative healing. She maintained agency over how her story was told, contributing her perspective and ensuring authenticity. This partnership in storytelling mirrored the partnership they were building in recovery. "We were not going to let this rapist destroy our lives," they seemed to declare through their actions, choosing solidarity over dissolution.

The Couple's Journey Toward Healing

The road to recovery after sexual assault differs profoundly from standard trauma recovery. For couples, the challenge multiplies. The surviving partner often experiences secondary trauma, while simultaneously struggling to support their spouse. Guilt, anger, and a sense of powerlessness can corrode even the strongest bonds. Trezise had to confront his own reactions – the impulse to protect, the inability to prevent the attack, and the question of how to be present without overwhelming his wife's own healing process.

Susan Brison's recovery required reclaiming her sense of safety, identity, and autonomy. She needed to process the violence inflicted upon her while rebuilding trust – not just in the world, but in the intimate relationship that should represent safety. For many survivors of sexual assault, intimate relationships become triggering reminders of violation. The fact that Brison and Trezise maintained their connection speaks to their exceptional commitment and mutual understanding.

Why Their Story Matters

The couple's decision to share their experience publicly, through Trezise's writing, has provided invaluable insight into how relationships can survive and even strengthen after devastating trauma. Their story challenges assumptions about inevitable relationship breakdown following sexual assault. It demonstrates that with intentionality, professional support, and profound love, couples can navigate even the most traumatic circumstances.

Their experience also highlights the importance of the non-assaulted partner's role in recovery. Trezise's willingness to learn, acknowledge his limitations, and support his wife's healing in whatever form she required became foundational to their survival as a couple. He didn't presume to know what she needed; instead, he remained present and adaptable, allowing her to lead her own recovery process.

Lessons from Resilience

The resilience demonstrated by Brison and Trezise offers hope to other couples facing similar circumstances. Their story illustrates that sexual assault need not be the final chapter of a relationship. Instead, it can become a turning point where couples choose, consciously and repeatedly, to stand together rather than apart. Their decision to transform private trauma into public testimony has helped countless survivors and their partners understand that healing is possible, and that a relationship can emerge from such devastation not merely intact, but deepened and strengthened by the courage required to face such profound adversity together.